life, as we see it

There are points in my life that I hear God so clearly. For that, I am excited. Some days I find myself ecstatic about the things He is talking to me about and other days it is as if I hear but do not want to respond because of fear of what it will change. I have come to find that I like comfort. I like knowing what is going to happen after I make a decision, my dad has taught me to analyze things all too well. But, there is a line. It is a line that makes all the difference in the outcome of the race. Will I choose to take part in the race and experience the joys of the trials and pains of being a forerunner of the pack, or will I sit back and choose to start when I have analyzed the ramifications.
One thing I have come to realize is that once I have decided to be in a race and I am on that line, there is only one thing I need to listen for…the caller. It is the caller who tells me what race I am in, where I am in the race, and when the race is complete.
In the past I have often been the runner on the line with a delayed start. I wasn’t on the mark and ready to go. I was on the mark physically but sometimes not mentally and emotionally. These past few weeks I have come to realize the effect this is having on THE RACE.
The Heart, it is very important when running a race. It is the source of life of the body. Without it, you cannot breathe or function. I have found that I have been living with heart failure. Parts of my heart have been arrested with bitterness, jealousy, envy, and even fear. Because of this, I have not been in the race and I have been affecting everyone else who is in the race as well.
Through these last couple of days I have been able to search my heart and see the wicked things within me. I have been sifted. I have repented and I have forgiven.
More alive and able to breathe, I press on.
-Heather